Thirty-Nine
“So what are we doing?” Ben asked, hiding behind a parked
car to avoid a burst of gunfire.
“We’re keeping Mr. Statutory Rapist away from Rox and Mira,”
Rui said, carefully not to give Raif a shot.. “Well, you’re keeping me from
doing that by asking inane questions because you slept through the part where
we planned it, then ignored me while I went over the plan because you were
enraptured with a chilli cheese burrito.”
“I remember the burrito,” Ben said wistfully.
“I’m going to haunt you when you inevitably get me killed,”
Rui said.
“Not as much as that burrito will,” Anita said over a walkie.
“I know you two are supposed to be bait, on account of losing the coin toss,
but I meant more distraction than fish in a barrel.”
“How did we end up as bait again?” Ben asked.
“Because I let you flip the coin.”
“That wasn’t it.”
“You also picked tails even though I’ve never seen you flip
anything but heads.”
“I’m due a tails. Statistically.” Another volley of fire
struck the front of the car near Ben. “I think I may be forming a plan. Lean
left,” Ben said. “Give him a hot foot. Draw just enough attention for me to knock
him on his ass.”
“And if he shoots me?”
“Then I’m sure he’ll get me next, and you can kick my ass in
Heaven.”
“I’m very amused you think we’re both getting in…” Rui
said. He saw a tree a few feet from Raif, and pushed a wave of heated air towards
it, lighting several low-hanging branches.
“I said a hot foot-” Rui leaned out again, even as Raif
peppered the car with rounds. Rui pushed plasma along the ground, flash-frying
a puddle into steam and catching Raif’s right sneaker. “I should boss you
around more often,” Ben said, sending a shockwave through the asphalt. With
Raif distracted, the movement beneath his feet made him stumble.
“So we’re doing our part,” Rui said into the walkie. “Where’s-”
he was cut-off, as the cars to either side of Raif were lifted off the ground
by small explosions. Immediately, gunfire chased Raif away from his vehicle
into an alleyway. “Showoffs,” Rui said into the walkie. “I should probably,”
Rui kicked off the ground, his entire body and his clothes becoming a heated a
plasma.
“Negative,” Anita said over the walkie Ben was holding. “Just
heard from Rox. She’s got Mira to agree to sit this one out. And if we follow
Raif we’ve got a better chance of catching a bullet from D.C.’s finest/most
racist than of ending the evening with Mai Tais. So I say we skip straight to
the Mai Tais instead.”
“Which one was a Mai Tai?” Rui asked, landing and
transmuting back into a solid.
“How do you not know that?” Sonya asked, crouching beside
him.
“Because I left Brazil when I was thirteen, and even then it’s
not like we all spend our lives on the beaches
“Why not?”
“Because it’s a real, functional country. Okay, so, not
right this second, it’s not, because of how badly we’ve dealt with the
pandemic, but neither is this one.”
“Ouch,” Sonya said, “but fair.”
“And it’s got rum in it,” Ben said. “And cure-a-cow-”
“Curaçao,” Sonya corrected.
“Along with almond and lime.”
“That does sound good,” Rui said. “Or maybe I’ve just been
shot at a lot tonight- and a lot recently, come to think of it- so maybe I just
really need a fucking drink.”
“You fugitives aren’t old enough to drink,” Anita said, disarming
the alarm on their van.
“I still don’t understand why we got that,” Rui said. “The
alarm is worth more than the van you installed it in.”
“Ah, but if we hadn’t gotten it, the van would have either
been stolen or used as a communal toilet by a group of homeless people last
week. Either way, well worth the hundred whatever bucks.”
“I’m not sure you could get the smell of urine even more
strongly caked into that upholstery.”
“It’s not just that it was a urine smell, it’s really
unhealthy urine. I don’t know the whole story, but infections that went years
without treatment, probably some late-stage liver failure; can I say, as a
Canadian, fuck your for-profit healthcare system.”
“Not mine,” Rui said, “Brazilian.”
“I mean, I technically have citizenship both in the tribe
and in the US, but I’ve always considered the tribe more
“I still count it,” Anita said. “And you?”
“Yeah,” Sonya said, half scowling. “I’ve got no excuse,
other than I voted for Bernie when I had the chance.”
“Regardless, this greedy system is bad and you should feel
bad.”
“I do.”
“Me, too,” Ben said. “Half-bad, at least.”
“Anyway, I’m doing you a massive favor sparing you, even if
I already had to smell it and still kind of can. It’s all I can do not to jam a
hot poker up my nose.”
“All the way?” Rui asked. “Or just into the sinuses?”
“Either way, it would just become the last smell I could
remember, which somehow makes it more vivid. So I need that drink at least as
much as the rest of you.”
“So,” Ben said, swallowing. “I hate to have a one-track
mind, here, but Mira? You didn’t say she was coming with us.”
“I didn’t get all the details, but it sounds like she’s still
fence-sitting, though this time she’s sitting on the fence from the sidelines,
which sounds like an upgrade. Ride the terrorist pine is preferable than
actually being in the game-”
“Unless that’s a euphemism,” Sonya interjected. “Sorry, Ben.”
Sirens made Anita cock her head to the side. “All right,
they’re playing our exit music.” She got into the driver’s seat, and the rest
filed into the van.
“So, it kind of feels like we only slowed them down,” Rui
said as she started the engine.
“Well, the good news is he’ll ditch the gun. He’ll have to,
to get through the police cordon. Bad news is we have to ditch ours, too- mine,
I guess.” She threw her pistol into a bush as they passed. “But we should have
an easier time replacing handguns; less regulations, more per capita than
assault rifles. Unless he decides to go old school, pick up a long gun. But that
changes the game; if he’s sniping there’s really only a handful of models that
will get the job done- especially against a group of prepared, organized defenders
like the Secret Service. I mean, if he were a professional I might be sweating,
but I’ve seen his service record. He’s an acceptable shot, but he’s not even a
designated marksman. It was probably always a baby blanket, anyhow.”
“So we’ve maybe got our friend out of a collision path with
treason,” Sonya said.
“But otherwise left their assassination plot in progress,”
Rui said.
“Half of us deserves a drink, the other half needs one.”
“I have a solution,” Ben said. “We’re all drinking for two
tonight.”
“Sometimes even a stopped clock. First round of
doubles is on Tso.”