MCU ’22 Pitch 11: Nova 2

The Deal: I pitch movies set in the Marvel or DC cinematic universes. Also other things. This pitch is a direct sequel to my Nova 1 pitch.

A very stubbly Richard flies, narrating a recap, “The Nova Corps., its ships, my armor, even its satellites like the Kiln, are powered by the Nova Force. I’ve never understood the physics of it- the science officer explained it lost me as quantum entanglement- but the man battery is on Xandar. It was built originally to power the fleet, and later, Nova Corps. armor. But with the destruction of the fleet fighting Ronan, and later the decimation of the armor Corps. fighting Thanos, the remaining Novas were supercharged. There weren’t many of us left, but we were stronger individually than ever before, and after the snap- there was no stopping us.” Quick flashback of Richard and Sam stopping in space, as Sam dusts in front of a terrified Richard. “But when I watched my little brother turn to dust, I snapped, too.”

Quick montage, Richard destroying the few remaining of Thanos’ forces, stopping when his helmet notifies him of the Infinity Gauntlet’s energy signature- and he blasts off. Richard lands hard, prepared to fight and likely die trying to tear the Infinity Gauntlet from Thanos… only to find the Mad Titan’s head laying next to his body on the floor. He lets out a primal scream as we zoom out, off-world, out of the solar system- out of systems into blackness.

We cut to Rich, in an alien bar, with his head on the bar. The bartender puts down a drink in front of him, and floating in the drink we see the words, “5 beers later.” As the beer disappears from the glass, so too does the word beer, and we can see “years” now through the empty glass. The alien who snarfled up the beer gets ushered out for stealing drinks again, while Rich, without lifting his head, orders another one. Another Nova arrives, and tells the bartender he’s had enough. This is Rhomann Dey’s widow, Karman-Kan, and she helps Richard off his stool, then lets him lean on her on the way out. She carries him home. She lives with him, though they’re not together, with her daughter; it’s a sense of obligation, for his work saving them, for his work saving the Corps., and a recognition of his trauma, including their shared loss of Rhomann. I’m not at all against her becoming a love interest, going forward, but right now Richard is utterly broken. Not merely traumatized, but so far from human that if she wasn’t keeping him alive, essentially as the sole way to keep some small part of her husband alive, he would wither and die. Her daughter is pretty brutal towards him, in the way only a mean tween (or maybe teen) girl can be; she didn’t see Rhomann’s affection for Richard because she was so young, or understand what he represents to her mother, and just sees him as this black hole of work and affection, and would rather see her mom move on and be happy. In part, I think Richard represents the part of her mother that doesn’t want to move on, because they both feel like moving on would be betraying the memory of those they’ve lost.

I’m not sure where this information goes, but it turns out the Nova suits were built harnessing the power of the infinity stone on Xandar. They built the suits to use genetic locks, so that enemies couldn’t use the tech against them. They keep the suits tied to families, so Rich’s helmet could only be given to someone genetically related to him (though how close a match necessary remains to be seen). After the loss of the power stone, they can no longer create more suits (or maybe not at the speed and volume). Karman-Kan actually wears Rhomann’s suit; they used their daughter’s genetics as the template, so it would accept either parent- this is also how Sam can make use of Richard’s helmet.

Mostly the corps keeps Rich around as a mascot; the timely repair of the battery in Nova 1 allowed the Corps to survive. Occasionally he dries up enough to go on missions. But he’s reckless, bordering on suicidal; it means he’s been a hero a few times even after Xandar, but only because Karman-Kan has hidden his screw ups from their superiors.

I think… after a brutal dressing down from Karman-Kan, that he finally admits to her that he’s not a drunk. He doesn’t drink. But if he hangs out in bars, people stopped ragging on him to get over it, to move on. They finally let him just be crippled by depression- not because he wants to be- but because it’s all he can do. Because if he tried to do anything else, he’d fly himself into the nearest sun. But he hasn’t even been able to fly to Earth to tell his mom what happened to Sam. That is what’s really kept him alive- because until he knows she knows, he can’t just… that he can’t face her and tell her Sam is gone is the only reason he isn’t, too.

They embrace, and she breaks down, too, but she smiles- not because she’s happy they’re sad, but because finally they aren’t alone in their grief. She convinces him that he needs closure, that she’ll be with him, every step of the way, but that he needs to let his family know what happened to Sam- and she’ll be there to help him through, whatever the fallout. The pair fly to Earth, and land at his family’s home. Rich still has his key, and opens the front door, only to find a different family living in the home. They speak excitedly at him in Spanish, at least until another member of the family starts speaking excitedly in a different language- they’re a family of refugees displaced from different parts of the world. (and Rich is trying to speak English- all while the helmet tries to translate everyone’s speech, so there’s six overlapping voices). It’s when Richard tears off his helmet that he feels a hand on his shoulder, and recognizes a voice that says, “He says they’ve been here five years, after the family that lived here disappeared.” His mouth drops open as he turns, and we see Sam, confused. “What’s going on?” Sam asks. “And why do you look and smell terrible. And who is the hot blue lady?”

Richard apologizes for him, and tells Karman-Kan he doesn’t know whether Kylorian puberty is anything like human puberty, but they’re just lucky he hasn’t drooled on her yet. She reacts largely with confusion, but also a little concern, and stammers something about if drooling is a sign of arousal in his species they have important boundaries to discuss. Just then, Sam’s mother with their little sister Ubers in front of the house, which we can see because the front door is still open. She tells them that they were at the police station filing a missing persons report about Sam, when suddenly the station was a zoo, with twice as many people inside, and half the officers were telling everyone else they disappeared five years ago. Their driver said the same thing and she just wants to know: has it really been five years? Sam wants to know the same thing. And at that climactic moment, the refugee family begin chattering excitedly again, and Richard suggests they go somewhere to grab something to eat. I think we go to Dairy Queen, the same one Richard worked at, though it’s since been rebuilt and remodeled- just the surrounding area should be the same.

To save some time and space, Sam’s mother basically nutshells it for us, “So if I understand right, the Avengers failed to stop an alien jerk from wiping out half of all life, then after five years managed to put things back together again- and you two work for an intergalactic alien police force that also failed to stop the alien jerk.”

Rich tells her she’s taking it all really well. “Yeah, way to go, mom,” Sam adds. She tells them she’s basically screaming internally because she’s pretty sure either she’s lost her mind or the world has and either way she’s not really equipped to handle what’s happening, and adding to it by yelling at her boys, now knowing that she narrowly avoided losing them, would be too much to stand.

Sam asks Rich why he feels different. “Puberty,” Rich says. Then Karman-Kan tells him it’s been a rough five years for the Nova Corps. With the destruction Thanos wrought, there have been no shortage of willing recruits, but with the chaos it also unleashed, the Corps’s numbers have continued to dwindle. That even presuming half the disappeared Novas returned, they’re each among the most powerful Novas to have ever lived- they’ve lost so many. Rich heads off to the bathroom, and Sam follows.

We linger, a moment, on the awkwardness of the mom and Karman-Kan. Mrs. Alexander asks how long she’s been seeing Rich, to which Karman-Kan replies, “I’ve been seeing him since he arrived on Xandar, some eight orbital rotations of your planet around your star.” Mrs. Alexander is… alarmed at that, and asks how that’s been going. “He is interesting to look at, I suppose.” She asks if the two of them have been physical, to which a confused Karman-Kan replies that they’ve come into contact. Mrs. Alexander says she supposes that means her species must have compatible genitals. “Not genital contact,” Karman-Kan gasps, before mumbling that she is “retreating to a waste-elimination chamber.” She pauses a moment, at the bathroom doors, looking at the symbol of a man on the one door, and a symbol of a woman on the other, hesitating, before going into the opposite one Rich and Sam used.

We cut back to the Nova battery on Xandar. It pulses, and the lights inside the room dim, when in walks Nova Prime. She asks one of the scientists about the readings she requested. He tells her that their figures are promising, that energy can’t be created or destroyed. When he leaves, the energy forms into the shape of a man, specifically, Saal, and she calls him by that name, and tells him they’re trying to figure out what happened to him. The prototype armor he was wearing seemed to trap his template in the World Mind connected to the Nova Force.

We hear battle chatter overlapping for an instant before we cut to what is basically the Nova D-Day. Novas are pouring onto a planet, and just as quickly being slaughtered. Depending which big bad you want to set up for Nova 3, it could be an incursion of a small section of the annihilation wave from the Negative Zone, or Phalanx, or something else, even. Subtly, with each Nova that falls, the energy field surrounding those that remain becomes a little more bright.

We cut back to the Nova battery on Xandar, where Nova scientists are monitoring it. Prime asks about the incursion, and her latest Denarian tells her it’s going about as expected- but that with each Nova who falls, their remaining forces receive a greater share of the Nova Force- which ensures that their troop strength remains about the same- it’s just that the enemy forces seem endless- an unending wave of destruction. There’s a surge of power, and the lights dim. The new Denarian checks his figures, and goes pale. Something has drained an inordinate amount of the Nova Force. Their troops are falling exponentially faster- and with each that falls the anomaly is swallowing up the new share- leaving the remaining force underpowered. Prime orders an all points- they need all of Nova’s forces to converge on the battle.

Inside the men’s room, Richard is splashing water on his face. Sam can tell he’s having a hard time, and pats his back, and tries to tell him it’s okay. That he’s been under a lot of pressure.

“I didn’t buckle under the pressure of a galaxy on my shoulders, or even a world. I couldn’t handle the pressure of my little brother on my shoulders. I crumpled under it.”

Sam is thoughtful, for a moment, before comically slapping him. Then he sticks his tongue out so close to Richard’s face that it nearly touches him and then raspberries him. “Gah,” Rich exclaims, wiping spittle from his face, and asks, “How did you get through my shield?”

“Family always does,” Sam says. “They’re the ones who can hurt you worst. And the ones who help you heal. And the ones whose loss you feel the most. I never got to tell you how scared I was, when I heard your distress call. I thought that was the last time I’d hear your voice. I was terrified, but I had to try to help you. And I knew you’d been okay when you sent the message… but for all I knew I was never coming back. But also,”

Sam slaps him again. “Dad left when I was still in diapers. I barely remember him, but I always had you. And I remember having a really hard time, I felt like I couldn’t get through… anything. You told me, ‘When you can’t get through the next hour, the next minute, get through the next breath. And then the next. And the next. Sometimes the world can just be so much… but if you can break it down to however much you can handle, you can make it through the next breath. And then the next. Until you’ve got improbable minutes. Impossible hours. Unfathomable days. An inconceivable lifetime.’”

“You know, you turned out all right. Almost makes me feel bad about telling mom to put you up for adoption.”

“You mean that about Kaelynn.”

“No. Her, I liked. Mostly. She was cute. You had a head like a sat-on potato.”

Sam shrugs. “Just means I know you love me for me.” They hug. A kid walks into the bathroom, then ducks halfway out, and we hear him complain that there are men hugging in the bathroom again. “We should maybe stop, or at least hug someplace less weird.”

Back on Xandar, the scientist from before interrupts, to tell Prime he checked on the anomaly, and it’s gone. The Denarian is confused, and the scientist affirms that Denarian Saal’s template is no longer housed within the World Mind.

Sam and Richard return to the table. “Your girlfriend seems… nice,” their mother says.

“Girl friend?” Sam asks. “I’ve missed a lot.”

“She’s not my, she was my partner’s partner,” Rich says.

“Aren’t you your partner’s partner?” Sam asks.

“I’m not doing a Who’s on First,” Rich complains. “His wife, I guess. They had a kid. Because of that, she kept me alive.”

“Alive?”

Rich takes her hand. “Losing Sam… it broke me, mom. I felt like… like he was the one person in the whole Universe I needed to protect most, and I failed. I couldn’t face you. I couldn’t face anything. She’s the only reason I’m still here.”

“She must be very special,” their mother says.

“She is, I,” Karman-Kan’s hand lights on his shoulder, and he looks up at her.

“We should go.” She’s all business.

“Wait,” he says. “I need to say this. You saved me. I know you did it for Rhomann, but…”

“Not just for Rhomann. You two saved my daughter. And me. You’re family.” It’s a moment… but right now we only get a moment of it, because she says, “But we need to go.”

“No. I’m tired of running from this- all of this. I need-” the all points finally reaches Rich’s helmet, then Sam’s. “Oh. We need to go.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Sam’s mom says as they get up to leave.

“Thank you. Rhomann was special; I’ve tried to carry on his spark.”

“Why did you get the alert so much sooner than us?” Sam asks.

“Technically, I outrank both of you.”

The three of them fly across the galaxy. We intercut with the battle, that continues to go poorly. Karman-Kan has them hold off, waiting in atmosphere. “You outrank me?” Rich asks.

“You spent five years pretending to be a drunk. And Rhomann’s helmet gave me an in to promotion. But more importantly, you feel that?”

“Feel what?”

“Nothing. I haven’t felt a surge since just before the distress call. Before that, every single Nova that fell returned their portion of the Nova Force to the rest of us. I’ve seen a dozen of us fall since we arrived, and our power levels remained static. It’s,” she stops, as she’s hit from space by a being made of pure energy.

He’s Nova Omega, and resembles someone wearing Nova power armor. The general idea that I’m leaning towards is that Saal has become the Nova Omega, that his prototype managed to fuse him with the Nova Force- it’s also an excuse to bring back Peter Serafinowicz- he’s got a great voice for this kind of CGI character.

Saal continues to attack the three of them. He thinks they’re the reason the Nova Force is ebbing, not realizing that he is the one absorbing all of the excess Nova Force from his fallen comrades. The three Novas manage to hold off Saal long enough to get him to understand that he’s the anomaly- that as their friends below die, he’s getting stronger, that he’s the one stealing the lifeblood from the Corps. “I have to stop this.”

Saal flies into the battle, directly into the heart of the enemy. “What are you waiting for?” Karman-Kan asks, and flies after him. They follow her.

Nova Omega is essentially the Nova Force incarnate, and single-handedly turns the tide. But even as he’s winning, he sees that the Corps is losing, that it’s going to be a Pyrrhic victory, that the casualties they suffer will render the Novas useless to protect the galaxy. Nova Omega decides to detonate himself- that doing so can temporarily seal the rift into the Negative Zone (or destroy some other McGuffin). The Novas protect him while he does so. When he goes, the remaining Novas are hypercharged, and mop up the remaining enemies with ease.

We wrap with a scene back on Xandar. Prime is basically holding a vigil for those lost, giving a speech both meant to honor the fallen, including Saal, while boosting morale and also making sure they’re aware of the continuing gravity of the threat. It’s a hard balance. We’re really lucky to have Glenn Close to strike it.

The last bits of the speech we pull back, and see Rich, Sam and Karman-Kan in the rear. Rich’s hand accidentally brushes Karman-Kan, and she reacts, first with confusion, but then, realizing their five year journey together, with warmth, and takes his hand. At first he’s confused, but then he’s touched. He and Sam make eye contact, Sam infinitely amused with Rich holding a girl’s hand, and Sam puts out his fist; with some hesitance, Rich bumps back. We’ll cut to credits (this moment can happen in the middle of Prime’s speech, with the audio overlayed).

Mid credits scene: Sam and Rich are on Xandar, talking to Nova Prime as an alarm goes off. “The Nova Force has been more stable since Saal’s death.”

“Then what’s the alarm-” Sam starts, before another round of it blaring shuts him up.

“Since Thanos destroyed the six infinity stones the World Mind has been scanning the known Universe for power sources that could create similar levels of devastation. It started this morning, with a single signature, on Vormir, but it’s multiplied. It’s found six so far, one here on Xandar. We want the two of you to lead the retrieval team on-world, while we scramble Novas to check out the other signatures.” This is going to lead directly into Warlock and the Infinity Watch.

End credits scene: There’s a very subtle beeping. “You hear that?” Sam’s mom asks Kaelynn, who crinkles her nose. She follows the noise, into Sam’s room. At the bottom of his hamper (she spends a lot of time being weirded out by his old dirty clothes as she digs, “Ew ew ew,” she finds a Nova helmet. “What the hell?” she picks it up, and the helmet comes to life and begins to glow. “Oh.”

MCU ’22 Pitch 10: Blade 2: Moonshine

The Deal: I pitch movies set in the Marvel or DC cinematic universes. Also other things. This pitch is a direct sequel to my Blade 1 pitch.

Usual caveat applies to diverse movies: it should be written/directed by people from that community, so Black writers, directors, and professionals of every stripe available, to get a more authentic vision.

We open on a hunt. Blade is stalking his way through a farmhouse. He finds a splash of blood on the wall. He pours a little colloidal silver on the blood, and it reacts, making him think that it belongs to vampires. Blade smiles a fangy grin. He continues to stalk through the home, coming to the rear. In the back yard, he can see a gathering of men, but not quite what’s happening. Men in white robes are gathered in a circle, and we hear their leader speaking as Blade pushes the sliding door open. These aren’t technically Klan robes; they’re more knock-off Khonshu robes, but there’s enough similarities it will read.“We call upon Lord Khonshu, and seek his favor, his blessing, and his avatar. And we offer up this sacrifice.” Hanging off a tall wooden cross is a beaten black man.

Blade charges, attacking. It’s subtle, to start, but only his silver weapons are effective; they’re shrugging off his other attacks. The leader, Dr. Druid, removes his hood. “Brothers, kill the interloper.” The others remove their hoods, and begin to transform into werewolves. Blade is in trouble; he’s surrounded by werewolves, stronger, faster, more pack-minded than vampires. He’s slashed across the chest, buffeted by blows. An engine roars, and a white motorcycle flies over stalks of corn, knocking one of the wolves back and skidding to a stop behind Blade. “The avatar!” Druid proclaims, as Moon Knight extends a hand to Blade.

“Come on!” he yells. He grabs Blade’s hand, and pulls him after the bike as he roars off, Blade contorting as they go to slide behind him on the bike. Blade’s hurt pretty bad, fighting to stay upright on the bike, before passing out and falling. I kind of like the idea that he impacts wetly on the concrete, with a blood splatter spelling on the screen, “Blade 2: Moonshine.”

Blade wakes up in a small home, lots of hard wood, fairly rustic. “I assumed you wouldn’t want to be taken to a hospital,” Moon Knight says.

“First place the wolves would have checked.” Moon Knight gives him a stiff cup of black coffee. “That was amateur hour.”

“You were expecting vampires?”

“Their blood reacted to silver. Didn’t expect a pack of angry wolves. You Khonshu? Or at least his avatar.” He shakes his head. “Sacrifice not up to snuff?”

“Khonshu’s an asshole, but he’s a judgmental asshole. He doesn’t like live sacrifice- neither do I.”

We hear Layla over a radio. “Sierra to Kilo.”

Moon Knight keys his handset. “Go for Kilo.”

“You two stirred up a hornet’s nest. They’re still hiving. Their Golf is still breathing, at least. How’s Bravo?”

“Recovered.”

“I heal fast,” Blade says.

“What do you hear?” Moon Knight asks.

“Paranoia and confusion,” Layla says. “They can’t decide if you showed up to rescue Bravo or protect them from him.”

“Call the play.”

“I’m staying here, make sure Golf is safe. If they move on him, I can swoop in.”

“Keep us posted. We’ll come running.”

“Why don’t we hit them now?” Blade asks as he puts the radio down.

“Because the ones you saw are the alpha pack- leaders from packs across the valley. One howl, and there’d be a hundred of wolves descending on that yard. Two, and it would be a thousand. This is more than a you, me, and Red Scarab problem.”

“I might have a favor I can call in.” Blade texts with Luke. He’s busy, working on a Heroes for Hire gig. But Sam Wilson’s down in Louisiana, just a hop and a skip from him. He’ll put in a call. “How would you feel about an Avenger?”

“A Thor or a Hulk could even the playing field.”

“I don’t have a chit that big to cash in. But Captain America’s kicking around.”

“The one with the wings?” he asks skeptically.

“I heard that,” Layla says, walking in and getting into the fridge. “You want anything, True Blood?” she asks Blade.

“Their guest?” Moon Knight asks.

“Back in his cage. And the moon is back behind cloud cover for the rest of the night. They won’t try again until tomorrow.”

“That gives us time to prepare.”

We cut to the morning. Sam has his wings briefcase, and knocks on the front door of a small home. “It’s probably crap,” he says into his phone, talking to his sister. “The last time Luke gave me an address, it was a prank. Wish we didn’t have the same people in Harlem. Least this time he paid for first class.” Blade answers the door. “I’ll have to call you back.”

Cut to later, inside, where they’ve clearly been talking. “So it’s a bunch of werewolves?” Sam asks.

“Redneck werewolves,” Moon Knight says.

“I’m… out,” Sam says.

“What?” Blade asks.

“I may not like redneck werewolves, but, hostage aside, I’m not on board stabbing and killing hundreds of people.”

“They aren’t just minding their own business, here,” Moon Knight insists. “They’ve tainted the moonshine they sell under the table. It’s how they spread lycanthropy. It will also spread the old fashioned way. Think a pandemic spread by biting- and the virus makes people very bitey. Worse, it spreads a lot faster if the initial population is multiplied a few times.”

Sam sighs. “I’m back in. At least for getting the hostage free and sabotaging their moonshine production. But we pull back on loss of life. Steve wouldn’t want me getting blood all over his shield.”

“Maybe white wasn’t the best color for your suit,” Blade mocks him.

The next night, they assault the compound, hoping to rescue the hostage before the full-on assault. They succeed, but Sam gets snatched in the bargain. The old sacrifice was Moon Knight’s inside man, before he was discovered. You could make him Werewolf by Night (who will be debuting in a Halloween MCU special on Disney+, apparently), or someone else.

From him we learn plot details, and it might make sense to spill some of the beans from him here, now. Dr. Druid hopes that he can kill Moon Knight and replace him as Khonshu’s avatar, in the somewhat misguided belief it would let him control the wolves directly (he’s largely been getting by with lycanthrope supremacist soundbites, but they’ve resisted anything beyond their own agenda).

They all sustained pretty horrific injuries in the raid; they all have healing factors so we might as well get our money’s worth, plus it gives us an excuse to wait until the next night for their assault. The others go to bed, and Moon Knight has a conversation with Khonshu. Khonshu is livid that he’s loafing. He says that they have to wait until morning, to recuperate- that if they go back tonight one, maybe all of them, will be killed. Khonshu says he’d resurrect him; he’s not worried about himself, but they only have the one shot- if they screw it up, it will take too much time for them to regroup, heal and mount another operation- by then Druid will be too strong (I want it in this scene to feel like Khonshu’s affections are perhaps waning, that he’s contemplating Druid’s offer). Subtly, Khonshu disappears into the empty door past Layla’s (there are four bedrooms total).

Layla has Tawaret in her room. Because it’s funny, the hippo goddess is sitting in a twin bed, kicking her legs behind her like a tweenage girl. “I never understood the Twilight thing, but Blade… him I could see choosing over Taylor Lautner.”

“I’m a married woman. And vampires, even ones who can walk in the daylight, creep me out.”

“You’re only married to 1/3 of Marc. That means you’re 2/3 single.”

“I don’t think it works that way; I especially don’t think Marc thinks it works that way. Now shoo. I’m supposed to be sleeping. And healing.” The hippo leaves, in the direction of the room where Khonshu disappeared.

Inside Blade’s room, we see him tending to his wounds. Since it’s his movie, he gets the coolest injuries, including having to remove a werewolf claw, essentially a small knife, out of his leg. He’s also talking on the phone with Misty (because it would be weird if he were on the phone with his mommy and we’re running out of supporting cast). “Good old boy werewolves?” she asks, in her weary way.

“These definitely mean harm.”

“You quoting Dukes of Hazard?”

“I wasn’t there for the General Lee. But before someone explained ‘white-washing’ to me, or what that flag on their car meant, it was hard to beat the driving.”

“Look, I appreciate 3 AM calls as much as the next girl, but you’re in a different time zone, so it’s 4 here, and you’re in a different time zone, so we can’t even make the fun kind of 3 AM mistake. So why’d you ring?”

“It’s getting to me. Vampires spread as an afterthought, and even when they form alliances, it’s about power. This goes the other way. These good old boys… they’re willing to become monsters. They hate so much they’d give up being men to keep the world from moving on without them.”

“They’ve always been monsters; that’s why they don’t hesitate. And I don’t know I see all that much difference. Both vampires and these werewolves are willing to do horrible things to keep what they think is theirs- and what big eyes they’ve got. They think they should control you for your skin, me for my gender. They have monstrous ends; of course they’ll use monstrous means.”

“Thanks,” Blade says. “I needed to hear that.”

“So it’s easier to kill them?”

Blade sort of chuckles. “Been spending too much time with Captain America. Almost starting to feel respectable.” She laughs with him.

They go in stealthy, dispatching a few wolves on the way in. They find Sam. He isn’t responsive- though he’s still in costume. They manage to carry him outside, but they’re ambushed by Druid and a gaggle of wolves. They’re worried; there are more than the previous night, when they got the hell kicked out of them and lost Sam. That’s when Druid starts chanting.

Sam falls to the ground, and starts puking. One of the avatars reacts to the putrid smell. “God. What is that?”

Blade, whose nose is more sensitive, snarls, and says, “Moonshine.” Sam howls as he starts to transform into Capwolf! (For the uninitiated, that is a Captain America werewolf!) Knight wants to kill him before he can fully transform- that their odds are already long, and fighting a flying Capwolf would overwhelm them; Blade intervenes. “We kill him to make things easier on us, how are we any better than them?”

“I don’t care if we’re better than them, especially if ‘better’ means ‘dead.’”

“Marc,” Moon Knight’s Steven Grant persona says. “We can’t kill Captain America.” Annoyed, Moon Knight looks to Layla, who kind of shrugs.

“I think he’s right,” she says. “And it probably makes it worse; the white Captain America lasted eighty years. He’s had it like eighty weeks.”

“Actually,” Steven again, “there was a Black Captain America. Fought in the Korean War. Fascinating story.”

“Steven, what did I say about spending time on the dark web?”

“That it’s only for purchasing illegal weaponry and peculiar pornography.”

“And not to believe anything you read there.”

“Peculiar?” Layla asks.

“Jake’s into some… things.”

“Calling them ‘things’ only makes me more intrigued,” Jake says.

Moon Knight relents. “I hope I don’t live to regret this.”

“Well I hope we live,” Layla teases.

As soon as he’s turned, Sam attacks Moon Knight, because Druid, who is controlling him, wants to prove he’s the better avatar. At first Blade and Layla fight the wolves, until Layla realizes she’s got a tactical advantage with the wings, and starts doing fly-bys.

Sam abandons Moon Knight at Druid’s direction, and takes off after Layla. Aerial fight! (I didn’t even plan this one, we just got lucky that the Moon Knight series created a winged heroine!). Sam, as both the more experienced flier and as the main martial threat, eventually wins; I’m going to say he manages to knock her into a tree, taking her out of the fight for some time.

Because Blade’s making a beeline through wolves for Druid, Sam attacks him next. Blade does his best not to injure him, even as Capwolf slashes at him with his claws. Blade does nick him a couple times, but he’s intentionally not doing too much harm. Eventually, they’re wrestling for control of Blade’s sword. Blade is either going to have to run Sam through or lose. So he tries a different approach, and pleads with him, “You know how much it means for you to be in that suit? Don’t make me cut you out of it.”

Capwolf grabs Blade’s blade by the blade, and his skin sizzles. For a moment Blade is horrified Sam’s going to break it then gut him. Then Capwolf speaks, haltingly. “Silver- pain- cuts through, helps me concentrate.” Blade hands him a silver throwing knife, and Sam holds it by the blade, and squares to Druid. Blade and Sam fight Druid hand to hand; I’m going to say, to make the fight interesting, he’s been getting high on his own supply, so at a crucial moment he can wolf out, so he’s a werewolf mage fighting the pair of them. Because it’s his movie- and because he’s more willing to kill-Blade delivers the killing blow.

With Druid gone and Capwolf on their side, they turn the tide. The next-most senior alpha takes over, and howls loudly, calling wolves from miles away. Fighting gets dire, until Steven Grant takes over. He mentions watching a documentary about wolves, that while wolves in captivity tend to have an alpha, in the wild packs are families. In the wild, someone who kills their alpha is a threat- they’ve proven they aren’t pack material. “If someone moves into your neighborhood and kills the head of your HSA, you aren’t likely to bring them biscuits.”

“So Sam takes one of them to a cotillion?” Layla offers. “Just pick the prettiest werewolf.”

“I’m pretty sure they’re all boys, from what I see bouncing,” Moon Knight says.

That could work, too,” she says/

Blade smells at the air. His specialty might be vampires, but he knows enough about werewolves to identify the alpha. He points him out, and Sam fights him. The others have to buy him space at first, but it quickly becomes clear that the other wolves aren’t trying to hurt them- they want to watch the fight.

Sam bests the alpha, but because he lets him live, the others submit to him. Capwolf tells them to abandon their plan- to wolf for themselves. “And stop being racist!” he roars directly into camera.

We cut back to their staging cabin. Moon Knight and Layla are loading their car. “You sure you don’t want to come with us?” Layla asks.

“New York this time of year is cold and wet,” Moon Knight says. “That seems like it would be your kind of thing.”

“I’ll need to stop in on some family, but otherwise… I don’t know where I’m headed. Haven’t figured it out.”

“Well, lock up when you go. And if you drink all the beer, buy more beer.”

“Yeah,” Layla says. “You wouldn’t like him when he’s thirsty.”

“And a mellow red wouldn’t go amiss,” Moon Knight says, in Steven’s voice. “Or an aged scotch,” Jake Lockley’s voice this time.

They get in the car, and as they drive off we pan around to see Sam, still a wolf, leaning his head out the window, his tongue lolling out of his mouth as he sniffs excitedly at the air.

Blade enters the cabin sometime later. He’s got a lot of liquor, as requested by Moon Knight’s various personalities. “Wonder if each one of him has a different liver,” he wonders idly. He hears a phone start to ring. I think it’s the silly propaganda song from Captain America: The First Avenger.

Blade walks over to find Sam’s phone on the floor where he dropped it, nearly out of battery. We can see from the caller ID that it’s Sam’s sister. “Hello?” he asks.

“I was looking for Sam.”

“He’s at the doctor.” He realizes what that could imply, in Sam’s line of work. “Should be routine.”

“Yeah. Well… something strange is happening here. Kind of strange he might need his suit for.” We pull back, to see a single zombie, tied up with ropes by her sons. It groans, and we cut to Blade riding his motorcycle south. He’s joined by another cyclist, who nods at him, before his skull catches fire, and we go back to credits (personally, I’d bring back Nicolas Cage… unless Marvel has bigger plans for him in the MCU).

Mid Credits scene: Okay, I’m just swinging for the fences at this point. We show the front door of Bloodstone Manor from the inside. There’s a thunderous, booming knock.

We cut to the porch, where Brother Voodoo just knocked. From behind him he hears a posh British woman, her voice full of threat. “Not entirely sure your sort are welcome here. Sorcerers. The family’s been hunting monsters since before there were Americas. Some might wonder if you’d throw in with that lot.”

“Elsa,” he says, “charming as ever.”

“Jericho. Never where you’re wanted to be.”

“And where’s that?”

“Some bloody place else, I’d imagine, because you aren’t welcome here.”

“I’m starting to wonder if I should be taking this personally.”

“You personally ruin my day every time you darken my doorstep. Come over once for tea or a chin wag, maybe then I’ll consider us mates.”

Voodoo opens up a portal; he can use a sling ring, or we can do something else entirely. “Elsa, get your gun. There’s monsters in need of slaying.”

She lays a somewhat comically large gun across her shoulder, and follows him into the portal. “Well, you know how much of a slut I am for saving humanity from the things that go bump in the night.” The portal closes behind her.

End credits scene: We’re in Strange’s Sanctum Sanctorum. “This is going to hurt,” Dr. Strange says. Sam screams, as he de-wolfs.

“Ow,” he says, still curled into a small, pained ball on the floor.

“People never listen when I tell them something is going to hurt.”

“Is he going to be okay?” Bucky asks, as Sam continues to moan on the ground.

“What do I look like, a doctor?” Strange deadpans, and we cut to black.