The Deal: I pitch movies set in the Marvel or DC cinematic universes. Also other things. This starts as a sequel-ish to Fantastic Four as I described it. If you don’t want to read that pitch, the gist is Doom has sullied their names, and they’re time-displaced from the 60s, broke and largely without any tech to their names- so they’re in a remarkably similar position to Spider-Man at the end of No Way Home. This is also being bumped up a few weeks, because of some timely casting thoughts (you’ll know them when you see them… unless you’re reading it even a few days later, then it may not be timely at all… insert your own Marvel pun here).
We start with Reed and Sue in bed. No, not like that. They’re
sleeping. Reed mumbles a name in his sleep, then sits bolt upright.
Sue asks him what’s wrong. “What’s a Peter Parker?” he asks.
Sue yawns. “I don’t know. Did he pick a peck of pickled
peppers?”
Reed is using some kind of 3D hologram computer thing to search
online. “I think that was Piper. Nothing on the internet- I mean,
nothing useful– there are dozens of Peter Parkers in this
borough, but… it’s a tickle in my brain. I can’t even describe
it, let alone explain. But that name. It’s important, somehow.”
He gets up, and is already on his way out of the room. “I’ll be
in the lab, honey.”
“I guess I’ll just try to go back to sleep then…” she
drops frustrated back onto the bed. She closes her eyes and sighs
wearily. “No, I’ll make coffee.”
We cut to a little later. She enters his lab, with two cups, now
dressed. “Oh, thank you, darling,” Reed says, stretching across
the room to take his. “So I have fascinating news. One,
magic really is just technology we didn’t previously understand,
though I’m in the process of inventing a new branch of mathematics
to be able to- but more importantly, someone used it to make us all
forget ‘Peter Parker.’”
“Who?” she asks, because the spell has already made her forget
him all over again.
“Right. I’ve been able to change the shapes of the impacted
neurons in my own mind to circumvent the spell, but I also invented
an innoculation,” he’s already stretched an arm with an injector,
and shoots the serum into her arm, startling her.
“Reed, we’ve talked about this. It’s not okay for
you to inject people with new inventions without consent- informed
consent.”
“Sorry. I get caught up in my train of thought and completely
forget. The spell made all of us forget Peter Parker.”
“You mean Spider-Man.”
“Precisely. But the reason this has been on my mind, is
that the morning of the spell, I received this email.” He pulls it
up as a hologram. “Purported to be from Tony Stark, but clearly
arrived after his death. It’s supposed to be automated, triggered
by Jonah Jameson outing Parker to outrage and vitriol, apparently
asking me, as the currently most intelligent adult available, to take
Parker under my wing. My to-do list kept trying to ping this
information; I don’t know if it was a flaw in the spell, my coding,
or just the spell not being calibrated to handle a brain made of
chewing gum, but his name kept creeping into my dreams.”
“Should I be worried you’re dreaming about underaged boys?”
“He’s an adult. College-aged. And just the name. My dreams are
typically equational, not prurient; I’m not Johnny.”
We cut to Johnny, and show bouncy bed springs from below, and his
face, bouncing, sweaty, from enough of an angle for a moment we worry
what we’re about to see. Then we pull back, and see he’s jumping
up and down on the top bunk of a bunk bed.
“Come on, I’m bored.”
“It’s night,” Ben grumbles, “you’re supposed to be
sleeping.”
He drops onto his butt, bounces to the floor. “I’d say you’re
supposed to be grumping, but you’re holding up your end on that.”
Ben sighs. “Matchstick, I got a complexion you could only fix
with an angle grinder, and most of the rocks on my face are still
cracked from our last fight. Stretch still don’t know if they’ll
ever properly ‘heal,’ and somehow I’m still sore. I
need my beauty rest.”
“Why, are you worried about getting uglier?” We see he’s
actually hurt by this, and Johnny flops down beside him.
“Oh, come on, Ben! I always teased you about your mug.”
“Yeah, but it used to be subjective. Now… well, look,
it’s a face only the blind could appreciate, even then, only from
afar.”
“Okay, it’s just sad when you rag on yourself. So
let’s go. Let’s do something. Anything has got
to be better than moping around here. We could mini golf.”
“No, we can’t. Last time we tried, I snapped the club like a
toothpick.”
“Right. Motion control games.”
“They suck.”
“They suck a lot less than having to replace controllers every
time you try to hit ‘X.’” Ben sighs, resigned. “Or, I could
make us some BLTs.”
“Now you’re speaking my language.” Okay, it’s at this
point that I’m actually forming an interesting casting thought. We
raid the Community closet for this movie. Jeff Winger as a brainy but
dickish Reed (or Abed, and lean into Reed on the Spectrum, and use
Jeff for the antagonist, instead). Donald Glover as Johnny. Either
Annie or Britta could work for Sue (their takes would of course be
different, I’m not suggesting they’re interchangeable). And Chang
for the Thing. He’s already played a Jewish Asian in Community. It…
works better than it has any real right to, frankly.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I actually have something for us,”
Reed says from the doorway.
Now, for this sequence, I’d probably do a Sinister 5 kind of
thing; Spider-Man’s bench continues to be impressive enough that I
think that could work. I’d stay away from characters we’re using
in Sinister 7, which does limit us somewhat.
Spider-Man is fighting a team led by Kraven featuring Lady
Octopus, Rhino, Electro & Sandman. At first he’s quipping,
doing okay… but they’re wearing him down, just too many villains,
especially now that Kraven has pegged that all they have to do to
make him act recklessly is threaten civilians. Lady Octopus knocks
Spider-Man back with her metal arm, and Kraven catches him, ready
with a ceremonial dagger. He plunges it down, but it hits an
invisible forcefield.
The Fantastic Four arrive, and make short work of the villains,
who expected a 5-on-1, not a fair fight, and Spider-Man rallies. As
part of the fight, Sue ends up in the water, and uses an invisible
forcefield to make an air bubble around her.
After the fight, Spider-Man is apologetic. “I’m so sorry,”
he says, as they watch from a rooftop while the cops cart the bad
guys away. “I wanted to handle it myself. I should have called the
Avengers- would have…”
“But they don’t remember you,” Reed says. “Well we do,
Peter.”
“Uh…”
“Magic is just science we don’t understand. Well… I’m
working to understand it. So we know who you are. And just as
importantly, we want to help. You’re practically a kid. You
shouldn’t be taking this kind of weight onto your shoulders.
Not alone. We don’t have a lot. But what we have is yours.”
“Reed, did you… read?” Sue asks. “Like the whole email?
Because what we have just got a lot more substantial. Tony Stark
didn’t just ask you to look after Peter. He gave you a grant of
millions of dollars to do it.”
“We should probably talk to someone about that.”
We smash cut to a legal office (you’ll see what I did there in a
second). My preference is always for She-Hulk, because I like the
character more, but Matt Murdock is all but certainly cheaper. She
explains, “The money is coming out of a fund Starkset up for
philanthropic enterprises, nominally overseen by Pepper Potts. Her
administration has been largely hands-off, because Stark set up
automatic triggers using his Friday A.I. to watch out for certain
circumstances. Like this one. The money is yours if you agree to
watch out for a Peter Parker’s well-being. There isn’t a lot of
detail as to what that entails.”
“I have some thoughts,” Reed says. “But one thing I did want
to check in on… does it say the funds can only be used to see to
the well-being of Parker… or can they be used more expansively.”
“As I read it, you have a wide degree of latitude. It’s always
possible Ms. Potts or the foundation could ask how the funds are
being used, or even seek an injunction if they feel they aren’t
being used wisely, but even in that scenario, I’m not certain
there’s even the possibility of a clawback, since there doesn’t
seem to be an enumerated mechanism.”
Now, this idea basically builds off the one that I mentioned in
the Iron Man 4 pitch; I’m going to both assume, for our purposes,
that happened, but also like it was a blip, and didn’t create any
kind of permanent infrastructure, that this is basically an attempt
to codify that and make it lasting.
We do a quick build-up montage, as Fury’s dingy hideout is
turned into a state of the art laboratory. Peter enters. “This is
amazing.”
“I’ve always been partial to fantastic,” Reed says, “but
it’s all thanks to you.”
“All I did was get found by Mr. Stark.”
“You impressed Tony- and not many did. Tony wanted to
provide for your future. I’m… trying to build on that idea. And
before anyone else arrived, I wanted to thank you. Plenty of people
in your situation would want to, what’s the phrase, take the money
and run?”
“I’ve learned the hard way that it shouldn’t be about me.
The world is bigger and better than just me. And I’m excited to
meet it.” Here’s where it gets fun.
Amadeus Cho (Note: this comes after Incredible Hercules),
Riri Williams, Moongirl, Prodigy and any other child
geniuses/prodigies we can think of enter the room. “Welcome to the
Future Foundation,” Reed says. “The minds in this room are some
of the greatest of your generation. You will build a future that will
make men like Tony Stark, Hank Pym and myself pale in comparison. You
have the opportunity to build something beautiful and utopian,
solutions to problems that don’t devolve into punching.
Spider-Man here is our example; what he did to help people some would
have written off as villains speaks well to his character, and well
of those who raised him.”
“I’m just… Peter. That’s already enough pressure. I guess,
I’ve seen enough people who just wanted to provide for their
family, or right an injustice, who ended up on the wrong side of
things… I don’t like people getting hurt, when what they really
need is help.”
We pull back, and see that Sue is feeling left out already. We
hear Johnny before we see him, “I can’t believe you’re jealous
of his test-tube babies.”
“I used to be his test-tube baby,” Sue says sadly.
“Gross.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I was worried my sister might be sitting sullenly in a lab
somewhere being gross.”
“You are such a dork.”
“Did you know dork means whale dong? The internet is
awesome.”
“Don’t believe everything you read on wikipedia.”
“That sounds like what you’d name an encyclopedia of
micropenises.”
“Then you’d be all over it,” Ben says as he enters.
“Hot foot,” Johnny says, setting Ben’s foot on fire. Ben
hops on one foot as he smothers it with his hands.
“Real mature.”
Sue sighs. “This was weeks in the making,” she says.
“When it started, we were partners. But every day, he’s
gotten a little more distant. This is such a great thing we were
doing… and now it’s a great thing he’s doing, while I watch
from the sidelines.”
“So,” Ben says, “why don’t you get off the sidelines?”
We follow her into the room. “Ah, Susan,” Reed starts. “You
all know Susan. Most of you spoke to her on the phone. I would posit
myself as the brain of this operation, but the heart, the soul, the
hands- the rest, really- is her. I have been known to disappear into
my puzzles and problems, but if you ever need something, she’s the
person who can help. I hope I’m not signing you up for more than
you want, dear.”
She smiles, awkwardly. This story is, in part, about Sue feeling
unseen and neglected, and I absolutely want to display the emotional
truth of that… but it’s also a balancing act, because it won’t
have the depth, either, if we don’t show the moments of true and
genuine affection between them, too.
Later, Sue is sitting with the geniuses. “So,” Amadeus leans
forward, “what are you hoping to accomplish, here?” She’s
confused. “I guess I assumed we’re like a think tank, right? So
we’re here to solve a particular problem.”
“Yes, and no,” Sue responds. “You’re here to solve the
future. Reed, if he hadn’t been ripped out of our own place in
space-time, likely would have single-handedly advanced human
technology twenty years. But he sees the same possibility in all of
those here. You have all, already, single-handedly created math and
technology that could change the world- should change the
world. Ms. Walters has already put us in touch with a good patent
attorney. What we’d like to do is, with your individual permission,
of course, file those patents under your names, but place royalties
accrued into a general fund that can be used to continue the Future
Foundation indefinitely. No funds or fees will go to any of the
adults here. But if you’d prefer, we can set aside all or
some of those funds for your family or your personal use, as well.
You’ll be provided an opportunity to speak to Ms. Walters or Mr.
Murdock individually- while we will be compensating them for their
time from Tony Stark’s grant, in these matters they are your
representatives- to help you understand whatever elections you make,
and of course any selections will require, for those of you under 18,
parental signature, as well.”
“What about rent? Or food?” Peter asks.
“The stipend we have from the Stark foundation should be enough
to pay room and board and cover the cost of this facility for this
inaugural class. After that, it all depends on contributions, and how
quickly Reed’s patents and any others become profitable.”
At first Sue does get to be involved, but what she complained
about continues to happen. Quickly, what looks like the A story,
about the Foundation, is going to become the B, as Sue spends time at
the harbor, trying to deal with her melancholy and loneliness.
It comes to a head when Sue, on one of her sabbaticals, misses a
mission with the other 4. Spider-Man subs in, and she arrives home to
see their triumphant return. She watches, invisible, as they
celebrate, as she feels more and more like a fifth wheel as they
celebrate one another.
She leaves, but on this walk, she’s approached by a strange man.
He’s handsome, and offers to walk with her. As they hit the
waterfront, he invites her to his place out on the water. He takes
her to the dock, and she asks where his boat is. He says where
they’re going, they don’t need boats, and jumps in the water. His
clothes go floating up behind him, and she says “You’re insane if
you thinks I’m skinny-dipping with a man I just met… “she drops
off as he climbs out of the water, his moist skin glistening in the
moonlight. “Okay, that might be the single greatest possible
argument for skinny-dipping with a man in the moonlight I’ve only
just met…” He assures her she doesn’t need to remove her
clothes, but she will need to her own supply of air, which he’s
seen her create before. “You were there,” she says, putting
together that he saw their fight with the Frightful Five.
“I was. And I was instantly enchanted, so much so that
I barely remembered to intervene. But please. Come with me. We both
know I could scarcely touch you if you didn’t allow it, and I would
lay my life down at your feet before I allowed harm to come to you-
even from myself.”
She pulls away from him. “But why? Why me? Why like this?
Why not just call it a night, and get coffee tomorrow?”
“Because I know you’d go back to him, and that would
break my heart. Not for myself, but because you deserve a man who
adores you like I do. You deserve to be treasured, and cherished. And
he doesn’t. He won’t. I doubt that he can. Even if it’s just to
spend a night away, even if you never allow me the touch of your
skin, I plead that you not return, just this one night. After that,
if you still want to go back, I won’t seek to stop you, and you
won’t have to wonder if you’re stuck, staying with him in a rut
because he’s convenient and there.”
Sue texts Reed to tell him not to wait up, that she got a room
near the pier, and a glass of wine and just needs an evening away.
His phone buzzes on the laboratory table; he doesn’t notice it.
I think it’s Amadeus who brings it up to the kid geniuses. “So,
this is weird, right… but my equations are incredibly predictive. I
knew Reed Richards was going to start the Future Foundation likely
before he did, and guessed his initial line-up with 93% certainty.
It’s not a brag it’s just… behavioral modeling. And… my
modeling predicts something bad is going to happen?”
“Should I start polishing my helmet?” Riri asks.
“Uh…” he really wants to make the dirty joke on the
tip of his tongue, but Moongirl is super young and he’s hoping he
can stall long enough for the temptation to pass.
“It gets dents and scuffs I have to polish out- never mind. Is
it a helmet kind of problem, is the salient question?”
“I’m not sure. Sue’s unhappy. Reed’s been spending more of
his time with us, and she’s feeling left out, and unfulfilled.
Missing out on an emergency situation just, it makes that worse.”
“You can really predict what’s going to happen?” Peter asks.
“Not what. That. I can predict that something
will happen. Sue’s not coming back tonight. Maybe she meets
somebody. Maybe she gets mugged in the park. Bad things happen
tonight.”
“Helpful,” Moongirl says.
“Actually… knowing that something will happen is half
the battle,” Riri says, wearing her helmet. She holds out her
gauntlet, and projects some camera footage of Sue going into the
water with a stranger. “From there it’s just a matter of tracking
her phone to the docks, and pulling up a camera when her phone
stopped moving.”
“Um… is anyone else worried she’s not coming up for air?”
Peter asks.
“With him? I’m not sure I can blame her not wanting to come up
for air,” Riri says. “What? Like I haven’t seen the way either
of you look at Sue.”
“Fair enough,” Amadeus shrugs. “But then the question
becomes… what do we do with it?”
“We shouldn’t tell Reed,” Peter says. “If it’s nothing,
if it’s innocent, then we’re inserting ourselves in
their relationship in a way that isn’t healthy for them or
us.”
“And if it’s not?” Riri asks.
“Then it’s probably better it come from family.”
Ben and Johnny investigate, Ben in his hat and trenchcoat. It’s
a relatively quick scene, since the video mostly tells the tale. But
they find some lockers nearby, with her phone inside, and her keys
and wallet. There’s no sign of a struggle. They reason one of two
things have happened, that either she went willingly, or there’s
some kind of coercion. And they can’t verify which without Reed.
Spider-Man is with them when they tell Reed, who is largely
nonchalant. His posture is mostly, “I don’t want Susan to feel
obligated, not to me, not to us, not to the Foundation.”
“Sure,” Johnny says, “and I get that. But what if she was
threatened. There are any number of ways she could have been coerced.
If she’s okay, we can leave her alone. The bigger issue is going
after her.”
“Best we could come up with was having you stretch into a diving
bell,” Ben says.
“Depending on how far down, I don’t know that I could hold a
bell shape indefinitely. We might be better off figuring something
else out.”
“I… might have a solution.” Peter is… weird about bringing
it up. “But none of you can ever say anything. To anyone.
Ever. Not even to me.” Quieter. “Especially not
to me.”
They go to Stark Tower. There’s a secret elevator that goes
down. “Did Tony have Iron Man diving suits?” Reed asks, his
curiosity clearly peaked.
“It’s just better if you see it for yourselves.” Peter shows
them an undersea bachelor pad. It is just as Love Motel as you might
initially assume. Johnny is enamored. “One time, when Mr. Stark had
a martini, he told me about this place. Before he and Ms. Potts
started dating, he’d bring women down here to, seal the deal.
Apparently bringing women underwater, or taking them for a ride on
his private submarine, was sometimes what it took.”
“What I think the kid is saying is this whole place is six
degrees from Tony’s undercarriage,” Ben says.
“Likely less,” Reed remarks.
We go back to Sue. Namor’s underwater palace is phenomenal,
beautiful, but also exotic. And he really is into her, in all of the
ways that Reed just hasn’t been able to be. So she’s legitimately
torn. Namor seems like he really values her, and Reed… doesn’t
need her. He’s found his calling, his people, his place. I think
that is what makes this arc work- it feels like a tragic
ending to their love affair…
And then she finds out that Namor, while absolutely adoring
her, is going to completely screw up the world. He was there to begin
with doing reconnaissance for his entrance to the United Nations. He
was going to demand they recognize Atlantis as a nation, and then the
ceding of all bodies of water connected to the oceans to him- that
humanity had proven themselves bad stewards, and he was going to take
over where they had proven incapable. That would mean no more
territorial waters for countries, that instead the beaches would
become shared territorial property. He is fanatical in his
description; refusing to hear that no country would yield to his
demand, let alone all of them, that what he’s demanding would at
best make him a rogue state, but likely a global ecoterrorist.
She argues for another solution, that his problem is exactly
the kind of thing she and Reed built the Future Foundation to solve-
that they can solve pollution and garbage and make the oceans clean
and habitable again. But he doesn’t trust humans. Even if Reed
manages a solution, humans can’t even get ahead of climate change,
even as disasters ramp up and kill increasingly more of the
population. That is why they aren’t right for one another-
Sue’s is ultimately a hopeful view of the future, and Namor’s
isn’t (and maybe can’t be, because he’s responsible for so many
sea lives that hang in the balance).
It’s then that Reed arrives, having heard enough of Namor’s
rant to know the score. Namor’s sad, and when Sue looks like she
wants to go, says, “I won’t stop you.”
But she turns, and squares to him. “I’m afraid I have to stop
you.” They have a big old fight, culminating in the
destruction of Namor’s palace. He’s essentially too strong for
them, especially in the open sea, but Sue makes sure that he knows
he’d have to destroy her to get to them- that he relents, and
departs.
I’m in a weird mood today (or maybe I’m just incensed by the
misogynist fury pointed undeservedly at the actress), so I’m going
to suggest Amber Heard as Sue Storm. And I’d wave just so much
money at Jason Momoa to be Namor, because it would be hilarious (and
because he has, thus far, actually been a stand-up dude and
supportive of Heard). Come on, think about it. Ridiculous, trolling
casting. Otherwise, any dude who can rock a tiny pair of green trunks
will do.
Back in the lab, Reed confronts Susan about her betrayal; Reed,
for all his aloofness, is genuinely hurt to find that Sue
went with Namor willingly. “I don’t understand, Susan. I know I
can be an imperfect partner, immensely flawed, even. But even in your
disappointment, I don’t see how you could choose to treat me this
way.”
“I didn’t think you’d notice I’d gone,” she says, then
quieter, “I didn’t think you’d care.”
The pain in her voice absolutely melts him. “Susan…” his
voice catches. “That’s my fault. I get so caught up, in
trying to fix things, things that are my fault, things that happened
because I wasn’t where I should have been, or who… and I neglect
the most important people in the world to me. I don’t want to
pursue invention for invention’s sake, or to make a better world in
the abstract. I want to make a better world for you, for us,
for our family, for our children… but I recognize that a
single-minded pursuit of that cannot come at the expense of
our relationship, cannot come at the cost of me neglecting you,
neglecting to tell you that, Susan… I would be lost
without you. And I don’t mean in the sense that you compensate for
my faults, and make me a better man that I otherwise would be- though
you do. I mean that without you I am far from fantastic; I’m not
even a man, clanging tools together in a cave. I can imagine a life
without limbs, without my intellect, but a life without you?
Blackness. Bleakness. Empty. And it should not take a fishman in a
tight bathing suit to prompt me to tell you that you are my
world, and I am truly sorry for that.”
“That fishman did fill out his bathing suit,” she
teases. “But I’m sorry, too. This is not how you should
find out I’m unhappy, or feeling alone. You might not always be the
partner I want… but I still have a responsibility to be the partner
you deserve, too. And, nicely though he filled out his bathing suit,
Namor is not the kind of man I could ever fall in love with, because
he lacks the quality I need most in my life: hope. Hope that
the future can be better than today, and that we can get
there, together, if we work hard enough to build it. Which means I’m
stuck with you.” He wraps an arm around her.
We pull back, and can see that the future geniuses have been
watching. To make it cute, silly, and marketable, they’re watching
through a Spider-Bot (as seen at a Disney Theme Park near you). “We
did a good thing, guys,” Riri says.
“And ladies,” Moongirl adds.
The girls leave, and we linger with Peter and Amadeus. “Want to
talk about it?”
“I don’t know if I’m ready,” Peter hedges.
“Well, if you ever need-”
We go to high-speed nervous rambling Peter, “So I think I had
what they have but then she forgot because of a magical spell and I
thought at the time it was best to leave her alone so she didn’t
have to worry about being attacked for knowing me but seeing them
work through things makes me miss her and wish, well, wonder, if
maybe I made a mistake, if it should have been a love conquers all
moment instead of me sacrificing my happiness to protect
her, and now I’m sort of seeing this other person who’s really
neat and sweet and I feel like my heart and my head are clacking like
those weird little silver ball desk things constantly.”
“You understand I’m the only person in the world who could
keep up with that, right? I am… not well-versed in women and
adjacent issues. But what I can say is this: what happened in there
happened in part because you are one of the most emotionally
intelligent people I’ve ever met. I think if you listen to the
Peter in here,” he points at Peter’s chest, “that you’ll know
what you want, and what’s right, and how to navigate the
differences between those two things.”
“Could your equations tell me what to do?”
“No. They might be able to tell me what you will do,
but figuring out what you should do… that’s something
only you can figure out.”
We start credits. Mid-credits scene. Lawyers and repossessors exit
the elevator just behind Peter and Amadeus. The lawyers hand Amadeus
paperwork, as the repossessors begin to box everything up.
“What the hell?” Peter asks.
“It seems Victor Von Doom, which apparently is his real, legal
name, somehow, sued Reed for damages done to his face. And won. The
entirety of the grant and all assets procured therewith are being
seized. Dr. Doom just beat the Fantastic Four without lifting a
finger.” More credits.
End-credits scene. The elevator opens again, this time it’s
She-Hulk. “You’re to cease and desist all seizure,” she says,
handing the paperwork to the overseeing lawyer. The FF arrive from
the other room. As the repossesors and layers leave.
“What’s going on?” Sue asks.
“Doom seized the grant. Apparently they served illegal notice,
but managed to force a trial anyway. Matt and I did our best to fight
it when we found out, but… he’s taking all of the money Tony gave
you. But, Reed’s patent for unstable molecules has already been
approved, and a licensing deal struck with several chemical-producing
conglomerates. Licensing fees alone are going to keep the lights on
in this place for the foreseeable future, as well as cover the cost
of any equipment already purchased with Tony’s funds. Wisely, the
unstable molecule patents were all filed under the Foundation’s
name, so Doom can’t access them. So the Future Foundation is here
to stay.”
We
start with Reed and Sue in bed. No, not like that. They’re
sleeping. Reed mumbles a name in his sleep, then sits bolt upright.
Sue asks him what’s wrong. “What’s a Peter Parker?” he asks.
Sue
yawns. “I don’t know. Did he pick a peck of pickled peppers?”
Reed
is using some kind of 3D hologram computer thing to search online. “I
think that was Piper. Nothing on the internet- I mean, nothing
useful– there are dozens of
Peter Parkers in this borough, but… it’s a tickle in my brain. I
can’t even describe it, let alone explain. But that name. It’s
important, somehow.” He gets up, and is already on his way out of
the room. “I’ll be in the
lab, honey.”
“I
guess I’ll just try to go back to sleep then…” she drops
frustrated back onto the bed. She closes her eyes and sighs wearily.
“No, I’ll make coffee.”
We
cut to a little later. She enters his lab, with two cups, now
dressed. “Oh, thank you, darling,” Reed says, stretching across
the room to take his. “So I have fascinating
news. One, magic really is just technology we didn’t previously
understand, though I’m in the process of inventing a new branch of
mathematics to be able to- but more importantly, someone used it to
make us all forget ‘Peter Parker.’”
“Who?”
she asks, because the spell has already made her forget him all over
again.
“Right.
I’ve been able to change the shapes of the impacted neurons in my
own mind to circumvent the spell, but I also invented an
innoculation,” he’s already stretched an arm with an injector,
and shoots the serum into her arm, startling her.
“Reed,
we’ve talked about this. It’s not
okay for you to inject people with new inventions without consent-
informed consent.”
“Sorry.
I get caught up in my train of thought and completely forget. The
spell made all of us forget Peter Parker.”
“You
mean Spider-Man.”
“Precisely.
But the reason
this has been on my mind, is that the morning of the spell, I
received this email.” He
pulls it up as a hologram.
“Purported to be from Tony Stark, but clearly arrived after his
death. It’s supposed to be automated, triggered by Jonah Jameson
outing Parker to outrage and vitriol, apparently asking me, as the
currently most intelligent adult available, to take Parker under my
wing. My to-do list kept trying to ping this information; I don’t
know if it was a flaw in the spell, my coding, or just the spell not
being calibrated to handle a brain made of chewing gum, but his name
kept creeping into my dreams.”
“Should
I be worried you’re dreaming about underaged boys?”
“He’s
an adult. College-aged. And just the name. My dreams are typically
equational, not prurient; I’m not Johnny.”
We
cut to Johnny, and show bouncy bed springs from below, and his face,
bouncing, sweaty, from enough of an angle for a moment we worry what
we’re about to see. Then we
pull back, and see he’s jumping up and down on the top bunk of a
bunk bed.
“Come
on, I’m bored.”
“It’s
night,” Ben grumbles, “you’re supposed to be sleeping.”
He
drops onto his butt, bounces to the floor. “I’d say you’re
supposed to be grumping, but you’re holding up your end on that.”
Ben
sighs. “Matchstick, I got a complexion you could only fix with an
angle grinder, and most of the rocks on my face are still cracked
from our last fight. Stretch still don’t know if they’ll ever
properly ‘heal,’ and somehow I’m still
sore. I need my beauty rest.”
“Why,
are you worried about getting uglier?” We see he’s actually
hurt by this, and Johnny flops down beside him. “Oh, come on, Ben!
I always teased you
about your mug.”
“Yeah,
but it used to be subjective. Now… well, look,
it’s a face only the blind could appreciate, even then, only from
afar.”
“Okay,
it’s just sad when
you rag on yourself. So let’s go. Let’s do something.
Anything has got to be
better than moping around here. We could mini golf.”
“No,
we can’t. Last time we tried, I snapped the club like a toothpick.”
“Right.
Motion control games.”
“They
suck.”
“They
suck a lot less than having to replace controllers every time you try
to hit ‘X.’” Ben sighs, resigned.
“Or, I could make us some
BLTs.”
“Now
you’re speaking my language.” Okay, it’s at this point that I’m
actually forming an interesting casting thought. We raid the
Community closet for this movie. Jeff Winger as a brainy but dickish
Reed (or Abed, and lean into
Reed on the Spectrum, and use Jeff for the antagonist, instead).
Donald Glover as Johnny. Either Annie or Britta could work for Sue
(their takes would of course be different, I’m not suggesting
they’re interchangeable). And Chang for the Thing. He’s already
played a Jewish Asian in Community. It… works better than it has
any real right to, frankly.
“Sorry
to interrupt, but I actually have something for us,” Reed says from
the doorway.
Now,
for this sequence, I’d probably do a Sinister 5 kind of thing;
Spider-Man’s bench continues to be impressive enough that I think
that could work. I’d stay away from characters
we’re using in Sinister 7, which does limit us somewhat.
Spider-Man
is fighting a team led by Kraven featuring Lady Octopus,
Rhino, Electro & Sandman. At
first he’s quipping, doing okay… but they’re wearing him down,
just too many villains, especially now that Kraven has pegged that
all they have to do to make him act recklessly is threaten civilians.
Lady Octopus knocks Spider-Man back with her metal arm, and Kraven
catches him, ready with a ceremonial dagger. He plunges it down, but
it hits an invisible forcefield.
The
Fantastic Four arrive, and make short work of the villains, who
expected a 5-on-1, not a fair fight, and Spider-Man rallies. As
part of the fight, Sue ends up in the water, and uses an invisible
forcefield to make an air bubble around her.
After
the fight, Spider-Man is apologetic. “I’m
so sorry,” he says, as they watch from a rooftop while the cops
cart the bad guys away. “I wanted to handle it myself. I should
have called the Avengers- would
have…”
“But
they don’t remember you,” Reed says. “Well we do, Peter.”
“Uh…”
“Magic
is just science we don’t understand. Well… I’m working to
understand it. So we know who you are. And just as importantly, we
want to help. You’re practically a kid. You shouldn’t
be taking this kind of weight onto your shoulders. Not alone. We
don’t have a lot. But what we have is yours.”
“Reed,
did you… read?” Sue asks.
“Like the whole email? Because what we have just got a lot more
substantial. Tony Stark didn’t just ask you to look after Peter. He
gave you a grant of millions of dollars to
do it.”
“We
should probably talk to someone about that.”
We
smash cut to a legal office (you’ll
see what I did there in a second).
My preference is always for She-Hulk, because I like the character
more, but Matt Murdock is all but certainly cheaper. She explains,
“The money is coming out of a fund Starkset
up for philanthropic enterprises, nominally overseen by Pepper Potts.
Her administration has been largely hands-off, because Stark set up
automatic triggers using his Friday A.I. to watch out for certain
circumstances. Like this one. The money is yours if you agree to
watch out for a Peter Parker’s well-being. There isn’t a lot of
detail as to what that entails.”
“I
have some thoughts,” Reed says. “But one thing I did want to
check in on… does it say the funds can only be used to see to the
well-being of Parker… or can they be used more expansively.”
“As
I read it, you have a wide degree of latitude. It’s always possible
Ms. Potts or the foundation could ask how the funds are being used,
or even seek an injunction if they feel they aren’t being used
wisely, but even in that scenario, I’m not certain there’s even
the possibility of a clawback, since there doesn’t seem to be an
enumerated mechanism.”
Now,
this idea basically builds off the one that I mentioned in the Iron
Man 4 pitch; I’m going to both assume, for our purposes, that
happened, but also like it was a blip, and didn’t create any kind
of permanent infrastructure, that this is basically an attempt to
codify that and make it lasting.
We
do a quick build-up montage, as Fury’s dingy hideout is turned into
a state of the art laboratory. Peter enters. “This is amazing.”
“I’ve
always been partial to fantastic,”
Reed says, “but it’s all thanks to you.”
“All
I did was get found by Mr. Stark.”
“You
impressed Tony- and not many
did. Tony wanted to provide for your future. I’m… trying to build
on that idea. And before
anyone else arrived, I wanted to thank you. Plenty of people in your
situation would want to, what’s the phrase, take the money and
run?”
“I’ve
learned the hard way that it shouldn’t be about me.
The world is bigger and better than just me. And I’m excited to
meet it.” Here’s where it
gets fun.
Amadeus
Cho (Note: this comes
after Incredible Hercules),
Riri Williams, Moongirl, Prodigy and any other child
geniuses/prodigies we can think of enter the room. “Welcome to the
Future Foundation,” Reed
says. “The minds in this
room are some of the greatest of your
generation. You will build a future that will make men like Tony
Stark, Hank Pym and myself pale in comparison. You have the
opportunity to build something beautiful and utopian,
solutions to problems that don’t
devolve into punching. Spider-Man here is our example; what he did to
help people some would have written off as villains speaks well to
his character, and well of those who raised him.”
“I’m just… Peter. That’s already enough pressure. I guess, I’ve seen enough people who just wanted to provide for their family, or right an injustice, who ended up on the wrong side of things… I don’t like people getting hurt, when what they really need is help.”
We
pull back, and see that Sue is feeling left out already. We hear
Johnny before we see him, “I
can’t believe you’re jealous of his test-tube babies.”
“I
used to be his test-tube baby,”
Sue says sadly.
“Gross.”
“What
are you doing here?”
“I
was worried my sister might be sitting sullenly in a lab somewhere
being gross.”
“You
are such a dork.”
“Did
you know dork means whale dong? The internet is awesome.”
“Don’t
believe everything you read on wikipedia.”
“That
sounds like what you’d name an encyclopedia of micropenises.”
“Then
you’d be all over it,” Ben says as he enters.
“Hot
foot,” Johnny says, setting Ben’s foot on fire. Ben hops on one
foot as he smothers it with his hands.
“Real
mature.”
Sue
sighs. “This was weeks
in the making,” she says. “When it started, we were
partners. But every day, he’s
gotten a little more distant. This is such a great thing we were
doing… and now it’s a great thing he’s doing, while
I watch from the sidelines.”
“So,”
Ben says, “why don’t you get
off the sidelines?”
We
follow her into the room. “Ah, Susan,” Reed starts. “You all
know Susan. Most of you spoke to her on the phone. I would posit
myself as the brain of this operation, but the heart, the soul, the
hands- the rest, really- is her. I have been known to disappear into
my puzzles and problems, but if you ever need something, she’s the
person who can help. I hope I’m not signing you up for more than
you want, dear.”
She
smiles, awkwardly. This story
is, in part, about Sue feeling unseen and neglected, and I absolutely
want to display the emotional truth of that… but it’s also a
balancing act, because it won’t have the depth, either, if we don’t
show the moments of true and genuine affection between them, too.
Later,
Sue is sitting with the geniuses. “So,” Amadeus leans forward,
“what are you hoping to accomplish, here?” She’s confused. “I
guess I assumed we’re like a think tank, right? So we’re here to
solve a particular problem.”
“Yes,
and no,” Sue responds. “You’re here to solve the future. Reed,
if he hadn’t been ripped out of our own place in space-time, likely
would have single-handedly advanced human technology twenty years.
But he sees the same possibility in all of those here. You have all,
already, single-handedly created math and technology that could
change the world- should
change the world. Ms. Walters
has already put us in touch with a good patent attorney. What we’d
like to do is, with your individual permission, of course, file those
patents under your names, but place royalties accrued
into a general fund that can be used to continue the Future
Foundation indefinitely. No funds or fees will go to any of the
adults here. But if you’d prefer, we can
set aside all or some of those funds for your family or your
personal use, as well. You’ll
be provided an opportunity to speak to Ms. Walters or Mr. Murdock
individually- while we will be compensating them for their time from
Tony Stark’s grant, in
these matters they are your
representatives- to help you understand whatever elections you make,
and of course any selections will require, for those of you under 18,
parental signature, as well.”
“What
about rent? Or food?” Peter asks.
“The
stipend we have from the Stark foundation should be enough to pay
room and board and cover the cost of this facility for
this inaugural class. After that, it all depends on contributions,
and how quickly Reed’s patents and any others become profitable.”
At
first Sue does get to be involved, but what she complained about
continues to happen. Quickly, what looks like the A story, about the
Foundation, is going to become the B, as Sue spends time at the
harbor, trying to deal with her melancholy and loneliness.
It
comes to a head when Sue, on one of her sabbaticals, misses a mission
with the other 4. Spider-Man subs in, and she arrives home to see
their triumphant return. She watches, invisible, as they celebrate,
as she feels more and more like a fifth wheel as
they celebrate one another.
She leaves, but on this walk, she’s approached by a strange man.
He’s handsome, and offers to walk with her. As they hit the
waterfront, he invites her to his place out on the water. He takes
her to the dock, and she asks where his boat is. He says where
they’re going, they don’t need boats, and jumps in the water. His
clothes go floating up behind him, and she says “You’re insane if
you thinks I’m skinny-dipping with a man I just met… “she drops
off as he climbs out of the water, his moist skin glistening in the
moonlight. “Okay, that might be the single greatest possible
argument for skinny-dipping with a man in the moonlight I’ve only
just met…” He assures her she doesn’t need to remove her
clothes, but she will need to her own supply of air, which he’s
seen her create before. “You were there,” she says, putting
together that he saw their fight with the Frightful Five.
“I was. And I was instantly enchanted, so much so that I
scarcely remembered to intervene. But please. Come with me. We both
know I could scarcely touch you if you didn’t allow it, and I would
lay my life down at your feet before I allowed harm to come to you-
even from myself.”
She pulls away from him. “But why? Why me? Why like this?
When not just call it a night, and get coffee tomorrow?”
“Because I know you’d go back to him, and that would break
my heart. Not for myself, but because you deserve a man who adores
you like I do. You deserve to be treasured, and cherished. And he
doesn’t. He won’t. I doubt that he can. Even if it’s just to
spend a night away, even if you never allow me the touch of your
skin, I plead that you not return, just this one night. After that,
if you still want to go back, I won’t seek to stop you, and you
won’t have to wonder if you’re stuck, staying with him in a rut
because he’s convenient and there.”
Sue texts Reed to tell him not to wait up, that she got a room near
the pier, and a glass of wine and just needs an evening away. His
phone buzzes on the laboratory table; he doesn’t notice it.
I think it’s Amadeus who brings it up to the kid geniuses. “So,
this is weird, right… but my equations are incredibly predictive. I
knew Reed Richards was going to start the Future Foundation likely
before he did, and guessed his initial line-up with 93% certainty.
It’s not a brag it’s just… behavioral modeling. And… my
modeling predicts something bad is going to happen?”
“Should I start polishing my helmet?” Riri asks.
“Uh…” he really wants to make the dirty joke on the tip
of his tongue, but Moongirl is super young and he’s hoping he can
stall long enough for the temptation to pass.
“It gets dents and scuffs I have to polish out- never mind. Is it a
helmet kind of problem, is the salient question?”
“I’m not sure. Sue’s unhappy. Reed’s been spending more of
his time with us, and she’s feeling left out, and unfulfilled.
Missing out on an emergency situation just, it makes that worse.”
“You can really predict what’s going to happen?” Peter asks.
“Not what. That. I can predict that something will
happen. Sue’s not coming back tonight. Maybe she meets somebody.
Maybe she gets mugged in the park. Bad things happen tonight.”
“Helpful,” Moongirl says.
“Actually… knowing that something will happen is half the
battle,” Riri says, wearing her helmet. She holds out her gauntlet,
and projects some camera footage of Sue going into the water with a
stranger. “From there it’s just a matter of tracking her phone to
the docks, and pulling up a camera when her phone stopped moving.”
“Um… is anyone else worried she’s not coming up for air?”
Peter asks.
“With him? I’m not sure I can blame her not wanting to come up
for air,” Riri says. “What? Like I haven’t seen the way either
of you look at Sue.”
“Fair enough,” Amadeus shrugs. “But then the question becomes…
what do we do with it?”
“We shouldn’t tell Reed,” Peter says. “If it’s nothing, if
it’s innocent, then we’re inserting ourselves in their
relationship in a way that isn’t healthy for them or us.”
“And if it’s not?” Riri asks.
“Then it’s probably better it come from family.”
Ben and Johnny investigate, Ben in his hat and trenchcoat. It’s a
relatively quick scene, since the video mostly tells the tale. But
they find some lockers nearby, with her phone inside, and her keys
and wallet. There’s no sign of a struggle. They reason one of two
things have happened, that either she went willingly, or there’s
some kind of coersion. And they can’t verify which without Reed.
Spider-Man is with them when they tell Reed, who is largely
nonchalant. His posture is mostly, “I don’t want Susan to feel
obligated, not to me, not to us, not to the Foundation.”
“Sure,” Johnny says, “and I get that. But what if she was
threatened. There are any number of ways she could have been coerced.
If she’s okay, we can leave her alone. The bigger issue is going
after her.”
“Best we could come up with was having you stretch into a diving
bell,” Ben says.
“Depending on how far down, I don’t know that I could hold a bell
shape indefinitely. We might be better off figuring something else
out.”
“I… might have a solution.” Peter is… weird about bringing it
up. “But none of you can ever say anything. To anyone.
Ever. Not even to me.” Quieter. “Especially not to
me.”
They go to Stark Tower. There’s a secret elevator that goes down.
“Did Tony have Iron Man diving suits?” Reed asks, his curiosity
clearly peaked.
“It’s just better if you see it for yourselves.” Peter shows
them an undersea bachelor pad. It is just as Love Motel as you might
initially assume. Johnny is enamored. “One time, when Mr. Stark had
a martini, he told me about this place. Before he and Ms. Potts
started dating, he’d bring women down here to, seal the deal.
Apparently bringing women underwater, or taking them for a ride on
his private submarine, was sometimes what it took.”
“What I think the kid is saying is this whole place is six degrees
from Tony’s undercarriage,” Ben says.
“Likely less,” Reed remarks.
We go back to Sue. Namor’s underwater palace is phenomenal,
beautiful, but also exotic. And he really is into her, in all of the
ways that Reed just hasn’t been able to be. So she’s legitimately
torn. Namor seems like he really values her, and Reed… doesn’t
need her. He’s found his calling, his people, his place. I think
that is what makes this arc work- it feels like a tragic
ending to their love affair…
And then she finds out that Namor, while absolutely adoring
her, is going to completely screw up the world. He was there to begin
with doing reconnaissance for his entrance to the United Nations. He
was going to demand they recognize Atlantis as a nation, and then the
ceding of all bodies of water connected to the oceans to him- that
humanity had proven themselves bad stewards, and he was going to take
over where they had proven incapable. That would mean no more
territorial waters for countries, that instead the beaches would
become shared territorial property. He is fanatical in his
description; refusing to hear that no country would yield to his
demand, let alone all of them, that what he’s demanding would at
best make him a rogue state, but likely a global ecoterrorist.
She argues for another solution, that his problem is exactly
the kind of thing she and Reed built the Future Foundation to solve-
that they can solve pollution and garbage and make the oceans clean
and habitable again. But he doesn’t trust humans. Even if Reed
manages a solution, humans can’t even get ahead of climate change,
even as disasters ramp up and kill increasingly more of the
population. That is why they aren’t right for one another-
Sue’s is ultimately a hopeful view of the future, and Namor’s
isn’t (and maybe can’t be, because he’s responsible for so many
sea lives that hang in the balance).
It’s then that Reed arrives, having heard enough of Namor’s rant
to know the score. Namor’s sad, and when Sue looks like she wants
to go, says, “I won’t stop you.”
But she turns, and squares to him. “I’m afraid I have to stop
you.” They have a big old fight, culminating in the
destruction of Namor’s palace. He’s essentially too strong for
them, especially in the open sea, but Sue makes sure that he knows
he’d have to destroy her to get to them- that he relents, and
departs.
I’m
in a weird mood today (or maybe I’m just incensed by the misogynist
fury pointed undeservedly at the actress), so I’m going to suggest
Amber Heard as Sue Storm. And I’d wave just so much money at Jason
Momoa to be Namor, because it would be hilarious (and because he has,
thus far, actually been a stand-up dude and supportive of Heard).
Come on, think about it. Ridiculous, trolling casting. Otherwise, any
dude who can rock a tiny pair of green trunks will do.
Back
in the lab, Reed confronts Susan about her betrayal; Reed,
for all his aloofness, is genuinely hurt
to find that Sue went with Namor willingly. “I
don’t understand, Susan. I know I can be an imperfect partner,
immensely flawed, even. But even in your disappointment, I don’t
see how you could choose to treat me this way.”
“I
didn’t think you’d notice I’d gone,” she says, then quieter,
“I didn’t think you’d care.”
The
pain in her voice absolutely melts him. “Susan…” his voice
catches. “That’s my
fault. I get so caught up, in trying to fix things, things that are
my fault, things that happened because I wasn’t where I should have
been, or who… and I neglect the most important people in the world
to me. I don’t want to pursue invention for invention’s sake, or
to make a better world in the abstract. I want to make a better world
for you, for us,
for our family, for
our children… but I recognize that a single-minded pursuit of that
cannot come at the
expense of our relationship, cannot come at the cost of me neglecting
you, neglecting to tell you that, Susan… I would be lost
without you. And I don’t mean in the sense that you compensate for
my faults, and make me a better man that I otherwise would be- though
you do. I mean that without you I am far from fantastic; I’m not
even a man, clanging tools together in a cave. I can imagine a life
without limbs, without my intellect, but a life without you?
Blackness. Bleakness. Empty.
And it should not take a
fishman in a tight bathing suit to prompt me to tell you that you are
my world, and I am truly sorry for that.”
“That
fishman did fill out
his bathing suit,” she teases. “But I’m sorry, too. This is not
how you should find out I’m unhappy, or feeling alone. You might
not always be the partner I want… but I still have a responsibility
to be the partner you deserve, too. And, nicely though he filled out
his bathing suit, Namor is not the kind of man I could ever fall in
love with, because he lacks the quality I need
most in my life: hope.
Hope that the future can
be better than today, and that we can get there, together, if we work
hard enough to build it. Which
means I’m stuck with you.”
He wraps an arm around her.
We
pull back, and can see that the future geniuses have been watching.
To make it cute, silly, and marketable, they’re watching through a
Spider-Bot (as seen at a Disney Theme Park near you). “We did a
good thing, guys,” Riri says.
“And
ladies,” Moongirl adds.
The
girls leave, and we linger with Peter and Amadeus. “Want to talk
about it?”
“I
don’t know if I’m ready,” Peter hedges.
“Well,
if you ever need-”
We
go to high-speed nervous rambling Peter, “So I think I had what
they have but then she forgot because of a magical spell and I
thought at the time it was best to leave her alone so she didn’t
have to worry about being attacked for knowing me but seeing them
work through things makes me miss her and wish, well, wonder, if
maybe I made a mistake, if it should have been a love conquers all
moment instead of me sacrificing my
happiness to protect her, and now I’m sort of seeing this other
person who’s really neat and sweet and I feel like my heart and my
head are clacking like those weird little silver ball desk things
constantly.”
“You
understand I’m the only person in the world who could keep up with
that, right? I am… not well-versed in women and adjacent issues.
But what I can say is this: what happened in there happened in part
because you are one of the most emotionally intelligent people I’ve
ever met. I think you listen
to the Peter in here,” he
points at Peter’s chest, “that you’ll know what you want, and
what’s right, and how to navigate the differences between those two
things.”
“Could
your equations tell me what to do?”
“No.
They might be able to tell me what you will
do, but figuring out what you should
do… that’s something only you can figure out.”
We
start credits. Mid-credits scene. Lawyers and repossessors exit the
elevator just behind Peter and Amadeus. The lawyers hand Amadeus
paperwork, as the repossessors begin to box everything up.
“What
the hell?” Peter asks.
“It
seems Victor Von Doom, which apparently is
his real, legal name, somehow, sued Reed for damages done to his
face. And won. The entirety of the grant and all assets procured
therewith are being seized. Dr.
Doom just beat the Fantastic Four without lifing a finger.”
More credits.
End-credits
scene. The elevator opens again, this time it’s She-Hulk. “You’re
to cease and desist all seizure,” she says, handing the paperwork
to the overseeing lawyer. The FF arrive from the other room. As
the repossesors and layers leave.
“What’s
going on?” Sue asks.
“Doom
seized the grant. Apparently they served illegal notice, but managed
to force a
trial anyway. Matt and I did our best to fight it when we found out,
but… he’s taking all of the money Tony gave you. But, Reed’s
patent for unstable molecules has already been approved, and a
licensing deal struck with several chemical-producing conglomerates.
Licensing fees alone are going to keep the lights on in this place
for the foreseeable future, as well as cover the cost of any
equipment already purchased with Tony’s funds. Wisely, the unstable
molecule patents were all filed under the Foundation’s name, so
Doom can’t access them. So the Future Foundation is here to stay.”
