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Lunacy: Responsibility

02/20/15

  06:22:00 pm, by Nic Wilson   , 546 words  
Categories: Lunacy

Lunacy: Responsibility

?It doesn?t feel right,? Clod said. Ken sighed, and gave her an indulgent smile. ?It shouldn?t.? But the smile faded. ?Look, I like Paul. And I feel... responsible for him, and everything that's happened. But he's right. He and Rica, they aren't... expendable. But given the choice of losing the entire mission or losing the two of them- it's arithmetic.? ?I'm glad it's so easy to dehumanize us.? ?It isn't,? Ken protested. ?Don't think for a moment that every single soul lost on the Perseus and the Moon isn't a weight on me. But my job is to make sure there are as few of them as possible- and if that means tossing two astronauts into the void to save the rest, it's what we do- fucked up as that sounds.? ?I know you've been through a lot. Losing Martin that way...? he sighed. ?The Moon can function without an administrator, since most of the big decisions get made planetside, anyhow. But the Perseus... it requires a different kind of discipline. And leadership. It's not an easy role to have thrust on you, and particularly not under the circumstances. But we hired you to do the job because you had the right skills, and the right kind of potential. You can do this. And if the time comes, you will. If I?d ever had any doubts about that, there?d be somebody else in your seat right now.? ?I?ll get it done,? she said, ?but I?m sure as hell not happy about it.? ?And that?s why you get to sit in the fancy seat.? ?Yeah,? she said, and turned off the monitor. She sighed, and marched towards the storage pods. Levy was sitting near the entrance, sweating. ?Status?? ?Moist,? he said. ?But just about done.? ?Reservations?? she asked. ?Some,? he said. ?I don?t like the idea of us locking them up again- especially when this time? it feels different. Last time we were just trying to make sure Rica had an easy transformation. This time? it kind of feels like our reactor?s gone critical. And there?s nothing to do but hope the safety protocols work and we don?t melt down. But? I guess I take some comfort in that it?s like kenneling.? ?Hmm?? ?My family had a dog, Mittens. Cute little long haired Chihuahua. She loved to go on trips with the family. But she got ludicrously carsick. I?m pretty sure my parents were still finding vomit places when they sold their car ten years later. So the next year, on our big family vacation, we decided to put her up in a shelter. So we put her in her little carrier, hoping it would catch most of the projectile spew? and then nothing. Something about being in the kennel, it made her feel safe and I think kept her from running around and? well, anyway, the point was, we drove all the way to the kennel and she was fine, so we decided to just try taking her with us. And so long as she was inside her kennel, she was cool. So I?m trying to think of it as kenneling them. Except?? ?That in this case instead of painting the walls with vomit they?d be doing it with our blood and entrails?? ?In a nutshell.?

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